WESTCHESTER OPINION; Retiring From All But Self-Indulgence

• Published in: The New York times
• Main Authors: Phillips, Robert M, Robert M. Phillips lives in Mount Vernon
• Format: Newspaper Article
• Language: English
• Published: New York, N.Y New York Times Company 04.09.1988
• Edition: Late Edition (East Coast)
• Subjects: PHILLIPS, ROBERT M; RETIREMENT
• ISSN: 0362-4331

''You're right,'' I answered to what sounded like a bit of not unexpected criticism. ''You're right, but if I can't be self-indulgent now, when I'm retired, when can I be?'' They are the successful ones, aren't they? - and they know that the way (their way) to happiness is to do. What they don't know, or don't care, is that there are millions of us who are tired of doing - especially out of necessity - and who are most interested in and most in need of not doing, for a while at least. But the writers don't give us that chance. They tell us to plan in advance for our new life, so that we can start right in doing - what we want to do, of course (as if we knew!) -but doing. They don't give us the opportunity to discover the pleasures - and dangers - of non-doing, of finding out who we are and what we really want, something we hadn't the time or energy for while we were working. They deny us the excitement of adolescent self-discovery (with no need to prove oneself) that retirees are entitled to. The road of self-indulgence is broad, with many bypaths - and blind alleys, and we've all earned our share of it. If you have your health and enough money to get by on (two big if's, I'll admit), don't let anybody divert you by asking, ''Are you happy?'' - the constant question asked of retirees. They never asked you when you were working, so smile, ignore them and continue on your self-indulgent way. You'll love it.