My cold, control freak husband loves his garden more than me [Eire Region]

• Published in: Daily mail (London, England)
• Main Author: Mooney, Bel
• Format: Newspaper Article
• Language: English
• Published: London (UK) Solo Syndication, a division of Associated Newspapers Ltd 23.01.2010
• ISSN: 0307-7578

I can't really get excited about housework, especially when it's never good enough, and I also have a well-paid job, but it's one that doesn't really tick all my boxes. I have a good education, was a PA before having children and am studying for a qualification in accounting. I wish my husband could understand that looking after children and running the home is hard work -- and a job in itself. I feel guilty if I so much as read a paper for five minutes, because he's working in his office. Woe betide me if I'm 'caught out'. I'll often hear him say: 'It's all right for you, I have to work', as if what I do isn't important. I'm constantly being hauled up over minor things and I really hate it. I've tried to tell him how I feel, but he says I'm being over-sensitive. Five years ago I was diagnosed with depression, but manage fairly well. But, as with any problem, everyone thinks that when you behave a certain way, then it's the illness talking, and not you, which causes me immense frustration. I tried counselling a few years ago, but there was little they could do without my husband's involvement. I don't want to meet anyone else; I want to sort out this marriage -- but I don't know how. I've obviously tried to talk to my husband, but find it hard to control my feelings and it usually turns into a row. He thinks I'm always criticising, so I'm at a loss as to how best to approach this whole subject. How can this be, considering I'm an intelligent woman?