“Widowerhood”: Masculinities and Spousal Loss in the Late-1960s

• Published in: Omega: Journal of Death and Dying Vol. 68; no. 2; pp. 123 - 141
• Main Authors: Bandini, Julia, Thompson, Edward H.
• Format: Journal Article
• Language: English
• Published: Los Angeles, CA SAGE Publications 01.01.2013; Sage Publications Ltd
• Subjects: Adaptation, Psychological; Adjustment; Adult; Attitude to Death; Bereavement; Dating; Dependency; Female; Grief; Humans; Identity; Interpersonal Relations; Loneliness - psychology; Longitudinal Studies; Male; Marriage; Masculinity; Men; Middle Aged; Qualitative research; Social Support; Spouses - psychology; Widowers; Widowhood - psychology; Widows & widowers; Young Adult; United States > US
• ISSN: 0030-2228; 1541-3764
• DOI: 10.2190/OM.68.2.c

This study examined the distinctly gendered experiences of young widowers. Using qualitative longitudinal data from the 1960's Harvard Bereavement Study, we evaluated the interview transcripts of 19 widowers (median age = 38) who had been interviewed 3 weeks, 8 weeks, 13 months, and 2–4 years after the wife's death. Our findings indicate that the off-time spousal loss ruptured the ontological security that marriage provided and created two types of difficult situations for the widowers. Coping with deep sadness and grief, the men divulged their unspoken dependency on their marriage and on their late wife. They also struggled as single fathers, especially if they tried to singlehandedly care for their children. Becoming an off-time widower in the 1960s compelled the men to reclaim their masculine identity. Men's identity-rebuilding strategies involved promptly returning to work, and many men began dating and repartnering to recoup the normalcy of being married.