Leading Meetings: Unresolved Conflict

• Published in: Leaven (Franklin Park, Ill.) Vol. 35; no. 5; p. 116
• Main Author: Clement, Linda M
• Format: Magazine Article
• Language: English
• Published: Schaumburg La Leche League International, Inc 30.11.1999
• Subjects: Babies; Births; Breastfeeding & lactation; Families & family life; Households; Nonprofit organizations; Obstetrics; Organizations; Philosophy
• ISSN: 8750-2011

Probably the most damaging to everyone is when sides are drawn. "We are no longer letting her know where the meetings are." "If she is there, we are all going to walk out," etc. If this group determines not to deal with the problem, there will be bad feelings kept alive for years, possibly resulting in blaming LLL. Another problem occurs when an ultimatum is issued. An ultimatum is a power tool, with much potential for damage. There is only one way an ultimatum will ever really work: when the declarer has all the power. This is very rarely the case in any aspect of life and especially in voluntary relationships, like friendships and LLL. If one mother says, "It shall be thus, or I shall leave," she runs the very real risk of witnessing a group sigh of relief and an invitation to find the door. This is not a pleasant experience, to say the least! Also unhelpful is typecasting this child and his family as "those people" who "do things like that." All people behave inappropriately from time to time, often inadvertently. Pointing out the inappropriateness of the action is all that is needed. And supervising children is always a good idea -- if no one is there to say "that is not okay," how would he ever find out in time to avoid the injury? All of this can be applied equally to biters, to children who figure out that being naked creates a reaction, and any other kind of dangerous or inappropriate play.