The Knoxville News Sentinel, Tenn., Sam Venable column

[...] it was on this person's watch at the News Sentinel that I perfected my skills at "field research." [...] the guy has a splendid story to tell. [...] the name of a legitimate doctor, hospital, birth records and announcement uniformity, and an actual address, should leave little d...

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Published inMcClatchy - Tribune Business News
Main Author Venable, Sam
Format Newsletter
LanguageEnglish
Published Washington Tribune Content Agency LLC 31.10.2010
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Abstract [...] it was on this person's watch at the News Sentinel that I perfected my skills at "field research." [...] the guy has a splendid story to tell. [...] the name of a legitimate doctor, hospital, birth records and announcement uniformity, and an actual address, should leave little doubt that our president is legitimately holding office.
AbstractList Thanks to today's divisive political climate, not to mention pricey masks, the blood-curdling candy monger at your front door might be disguised as Rush Limbaugh, Barack Obama, Nancy Pelosi or Sarah Palin. The ingredients include 100-year-old balsamic vinegar, three slices of sourdough bread, cheddar cheese blended with white truffles, sliced quail eggs, black tomato, pea shoots, fresh figs and a dusting of powdered gold dust.
According to the website southeasternoutdoors.com, at least 232 wildlife officers have died or been killed in the line of duty. According to police reports, he had placed Christopher Lynn Johnson, 27, under arrest when 'a ferocious exchange of gunfire occurred.'
Dec. 17--A HOLIDAY SAMPLER (Third in a series of four.) Somewhere in the dark recesses of a file cabinet at my home office -- note to self: I will organize that thing some day; second note to self: yeah, right -- is a photograph I shot in December 2007. Really? I'll get around to playing them about the time I do that card. This is a hymn of German origin, circa 16th century.
[...] when the waitress brought his meal, complete with bib and the necessary tools for cracking the shell, he was a bit perplexed about protocol. "[...] I looked at her and said, 'Ma'am, am I eating this thing properly?' "Oh, it embarrassed her!
On Aug. 3, 1978, he decreed the Sunday after Labor Day as Grandparents Day "to honor grandparents, to give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their children's children, and to help children become aware of the strength, information and guidance older people can offer." Back then, of course, Grandparents Day was celebrated only by fossilized geezers who pestered everyone with yawner stories and mindless demands that we stare at more photos of their sniveling, bratty, nonadorable rug rats.
[...] perhaps it's time to call upon a higher power -- with no offense (or defense, as the gridiron case may be) to first-year head coach Derek Dooley.
According to a recent article in Field & Stream magazine, Scent-Lok's sales in 2006 were $100 million. From size 24 dry flies to 12-inch plastic worms, 20-gauge shotguns to .22-250 rifles, every item in your tackle box and gun rack is "guaranteed" to cause such immediate destruction of fish and wildlife species, it's a wonder they haven't already gone extinct.
After checking soil samples along roadways, picnic areas and parking areas near trail heads, they believe these jumping worms have already made serious incursion into the park. "Composting advertisements boast that the worm can eat and process more than its body weight in organic matter each day," a Park Service field bulletin recently reported.
[...] the theme of her report remains the same, and I can't think of a better time than Thanksgiving Day to share it with you. From the standpoint of religion, 300 would be Christians (183 Catholics, 84 Protestants, 33 Orthodox), 175 Muslims, 128 Hindus, 55 Buddhists, 47 Animists, along with 210 other faiths, including atheism.
West, convicted of a brutal double murder in 1986, had his execution postponed while medical and legal authorities wrangle over the effectiveness of the first drug in the three-drug "cocktail" used for execution. Not to make light of a deadly situation, but this is like a coach calling time out at a crucial moment in the Super Bowl to make certain his quarterback understands the fundamentals of physics required to grip a football at the laces so it can be accurately arced toward a receiver running rapidly down the field.
Oct. 31--The second phase of Tennessee's "primitive weapons" deer season opens Saturday. At one time, the federal government had contracts with 30 companies to produce .58 caliber Springfields.
According to biological surveys, the annual turnover in U.S. mourning dove populations runs 65-85 percent, whether the birds are hunted or not. Throw in guns, clothing, lease fees, meals, dog care, gasoline and associated factors, and the investment quickly gallops into the mega millions.
Allegedly, they're safer than the conventional method of sucking tar, nicotine, carbon monoxide, eye of newt and heaven-only-knows what other evil cooties deep into your lungs.
A resolution was hastily approved asking Andrea to research the questions "Do windbreakers really break wind?" and "Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties' plural?" during treatment for her cruel affliction. n Speaking of medicine, Dr. Charles Sherwood, Curator of Historical Archives, noted that emergency room procedures in ancient Rome often were stymied when the physician called for an IV and someone handed him a 4. n Floyd Anderson, Chairman of the Fiscal-Physical Fitness Committee, said he joined an expensive exercise club but was initiating legal proceedings to get his money refunded.
To wit: -- Contrary to popular opinion, Elkmont was not named for elk herds abundant in settler time, but because it was established as a vacation community by the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks (BPOE) of Knoxville. -- Middleton was a senior editor at Southern Living magazine and had been a frequent contributor to such publications as the New York Times, Field & Stream and Sports Illustrated.
According to the health experts, 33.8 percent of Mississippians are obese. According to reports by CBS News, The Associated Press and other media outlets, the outlook is promising -- both for the drug manufacturer, Arena Pharmaceuticals, as well as the aforementioned 31.6 percent to 33.8 percent of heavyweight Tennesseans, Alabamians and Mississippians.
[...] I suspect it will gain renewed energy as the bridge receives increased media attention in the coming months. [...] my advice to Chapman Highway drivers is to pack a picnic lunch and a bottle of tranquilizers.
In her post, Palin asked Muslims to "refudiate" the notion that an Islamic center should be built near Ground Zero in New York City. Surely it was a homegrown genius like this who painted the official state sign I once saw posted at the Tate Springs boat launch area in Hawkins County.
[...] he might cotton to the notion just fine. [...] the same will hold true for North American adventurers adding Europe to their plans.
[...] I do wish His Jockness would stick to X's and O's, and refrain from American history, when attempting to analyze the tough schedule faced by his players. Out of sight from your neighbors, strip to your birthday suit, toss your clothes back into the car, slam the door, then go inside and take a good shower.
Nov. 16--Here we are on the cusp of the holidays, and you're wondering how to navigate the next six or seven caloric weeks without gaining so much weight that you, personally, tip Mother Earth off her axis. If you have read this far, are salivating so profusely that the newspaper has become a moist lump of cellulose pulp and are overcome by the desire to attack a 25-pound econo-bag of Ding-Dongs, not surfacing for air until the last chocolatey morsel is gone, fine.
Plants need nitrogen to grow. [...] nitrogen from the air is broken down into an easier-to-digest form by 'nitrogen-fixing' plants and bacteria that work with them, other plants can't access it.
Among a myriad of projects, they built six handicap ramps on private residences, roofed another and repaired-renovated a public recreation field. In the fortnight since the UT-LSU football game, I've heard from two unrelated groups of partisans -- one Vols, the other Tigers -- who clicked off their TVs after the final play and began respective reflections of victory and defeat.
[...] I digress. Ann's father took the Jeremiah passage literally. [...] there was no Christmas tree the entire time she was a child.
(284 pages, paperback, by Jay Searcy; $22 mail order from the author, 103 Quapaw Circle, Loudon, Tenn., 37774, or at outlets including the American Museum of Science and Energy, The Ferrell Shop, Mr. K's, the Museum of Appalachia and Borders.) Searcy -- an award-winning newspaper columnist whose career stops included the New York Times and Philadelphia Inquirer -- grew up in the fledgling days of Oak Ridge and was a member of the first graduating class of Oak Ridge High School.
In the Navy! n As a member of the Loudon County Veterans Honor Guard, 85-year-old Ed Baranyi has helped chronicle the memories of many comrades and comfort the families of fallen warriors. Not only did Capt. Dickson arrange to get a U.S. flag from Okinawa delivered to Ed, she included two vials of sand from the island and had them authenticated by her commanding officer.
Right now, thee, me and 99.8 percent of East Tennesseans are delirious with excitement over the recent cold snap, signaling the sure-nuff switch from summer to autumn. After two or three straight weeks of nothing but prime aged beef, the choicest fresh seafood, eggs Benedict, bananas Foster, fine wine by the case and enough beer and likker to float a navy of pirogues, I couldn't wait to get back to East Tennessee for a dose of pinto beans and corn bread.
[...] I opted for my electric fish-filleting knife instead of conventional kitchen fare. [...] a Power-T pumpkin won the "UT-Themed" category.
[...] you gotta tell me about your unusual nickname. Are you kidding? (He holds up a book thicker than the Yellow Pages.) Check out a few of these: n Devil costumes are not allowed on Church Avenue, Church Street, Church Hill Road or Churchwell Avenue. n Anyone dressed as a vampire must carry a health card. n Cowboys and cowgirls are restricted to Rodeo Drive, Rifle Range Road and Palomino Way. n Paper trick-or-treat candy bags must be approved ahead of time to make sure no endangered tree species were used in their manufacture. n Plastic jack-o'-lanterns must be certified PBA-free.
In the short tape, Sherrod, who is black, admits she didn't give "the full force of what I could do" 24 years ago to help a white farmer facing financial ruin. [...] Sherrod was working for a farm aid program.
The conference sponsors knew I had deep-sixed my pickup truck in an ocean of liquid cow manure back in January, and they wanted to hear the intimate details. On Sept. 11, 2001, he was at an Illinois dairy farm in the company of a research veterinarian and a graduate student from the University of Illinois.
Mar. 21--My wife still remembers the time, during her fourth-grade year at Anderson Elementary School, when she quizzed the teacher about a new word she'd heard: "Mrs. Bradbury, what does 'fad' mean?" Instead of delivering a dictionary answer, the teacher wisely painted a more vivid picture: "A fad is why a lot of the boys are wearing coonskin caps."
From auto magnate Henry Ford's 1920s rant that "the whole record of the Jewish opposition to Christmas ... shows the venom and directness of their attack" to the John Birch Society's 1959 declaration that "one of the techniques now being applied by the Reds ... is taking Christ out of Christmas," certain elements within Christianity have long portrayed themselves as victims. What's more, I know of two local situations -- surely there are dozens of others -- where recipients of corporate holiday greetings demanded their names be removed from future mailings because a precise "Merry Christmas" was not stated.
Ford Motors, Mother's Day and the Boy Scouts enjoy more of an international following than the pesky problem of putrid water in the Pigeon. At every step along the way, mill operators and citizens of Canton cried tears of ruin and destruction: "No way can we clean up and stay in business!" To hear them talk, the western side of North Carolina would shut down faster than I-40 after a rockslide.
How can an object be both an eyesore and an icon? I'll double-dog guarantee if the coffee company, or any other local business, proposed a new illuminated sign like it today, the clamor to cease and desist would be deafening. [...] strictly in the role of devil's advocate, I could point out that "improving" the aesthetics of a riverfront gas plant in the middle of town is a stretch.
According to auctioneer James D. Julia Inc., Fairfield, Maine, the buyer declined to be identified. --
According to sanitary engineers and energy experts, generating power by incinerating dried human doo is quite feasible, just the same as it is from cow, sheep or chicken doo. [...] I digress. Quoting directly from his story: A wastewater treatment plant in Cabarrus County, N.C., expects to start burning human excrement as early as next year to generate its own electricity.
Having spent more than half a century calmly probing the innards of fish, feathers and fur and reducing the residue to table fare, suffice to say I know a thing or three about cooties and their disgusting environs. According to a recent Associated Press dispatch, DDT wiped out entire populations of American bedbugs by the 1940s and '50s.
Though this isn't a full-blown intelligence breach, we're talking behind-the-scenes negotiations and fact-gathering on the highest level of international relations. Based on what I've read about the guy, he considers himself an international whistle-blower bent on exposing what he calls "human rights abuse and other criminal behavior" by the U.S. Thus, he inflicts critical damage via fingers on a keyboard instead of a trigger.
Oct. 21--My foreign language learning curve continues to arc. When Clay was a tyke, I was surprised to learn the "Darkland Reindeers" was a professional football team in California.
To refresh your memory - Rhoades had just backed his 18-wheeler into the loading dock of an auto parts factory in Kankakee, Ill. Covered in blood, sweat, aviation fuel and hydraulic fluid, the two Marines pulled 15 bodies, living and dead, from the smoldering wreckage. Similar paperwork was initiated for Walls, but it never was completed. [...] .
Political rancor has grown so intense these days, a verified list of, say, 750 attendees at any event can be ballooned to 750,000 or shriveled to 75, depending on which side does the estimating. [...] she says, trying to match numbers with any other rally misses the point.
According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Deal is $2.3 million in hock because of a failed retail venture by his daughter and son-in-law. Skinner refused. [...] he was banned from competition as a Vol.
July 22--All you ladies are going to be soooo jealous when you hear what Charles Pless bought his wife for their 50th wedding anniversary. First some background.
"What's the best kind of zucchini to use if you have to whack a black bear in the head?" I asked as soon as Jerry came on the line. [...] I certainly hope I haven't offended cardboard lovers in the audience. Anyhow, I wanted to get his advice on zucchini weaponry after reading about a woman in Helena, Mont., who thwarted a bear attack last week by pelting the animal with a 14-inch "zuke" from her garden.
"If the fisherMEN need to 'make water,' as the old Southern figure of speech goes, enjoy the sweet relief, but take the bottle home or dump its contents over the side and dispose of the bottle with the rest of your trash!" I understand Lucinda's frustration.
[...] -- and here's where the cheese really starts to bind, if I may mix metaphors with Marlboros -- making folks stuff their shirt pockets, purses, billfolds, briefcases, glove compartments and lunch pails with their own smoking refuse might remind them of how vile this habit truly is.
In any case, his capture really captured my interest. [...] last weekend, I had never heard of Mr. George. According to it, he is a Georgia resident. Law enforcement authorities say Mr. George came into the bank around 5 p.m. Friday, brandished a weapon and, after a minor stunt, "forcibly removed money from the teller drawers."
[...] one glance at his clothing is enough to spark gales of laughter -- especially from the staffs at discount stores, second-hand boutiques, lost-and-found bins and other authorities in the world of glamorous fashion. [...] how was he able to keep up with an alleged crook many years his junior? Because the suspect was wearing baggy pants and had to stop not once, but twice, to pull them up after they fell to the pavement, that's why.
Dec. 14--A HOLIDAY SAMPLER (First in a series of four.) With all due respect to the Knoxville Nativity Pageant, the Clarence Brown Theatre's production of 'A Christmas Carol,' the Knoxville Symphony Orchestra's 24th annual Clayton Holiday Concert, the Christmas lights extravaganza at Smokies Stadium or your own church choir's Christmas cantata, the most popular performance of the 2010 Yule season -- in Knoxville or anywhere else -- comes from Canada via the Internet. Dabrowski is director of public relations for Alphabet Photography Inc., of Niagara Falls, Ont.
Dec. 03--Roy Piciacchia is certain this is the way his father was greeted by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates: How do you pronounce 'F-a-u-s-t-i-n-o P-i-c-i-a-c-c-h-i-a'? (It's like this, Pete: faus-TEE-no pa-CHOCK-e-ya.) And Roy is just as certain that five minutes after check-in, folks were calling his dad what they did down below. Faustino Paul Piciacchia was a bow-legged little Italian with fingers like Polish sausages, a squint in his eyes from years in the sun and a smile forever welded to his lips.
Morton, a Knoxville attorney, and his wife, Missy, are by their own admission "space shuttle launch freaks." Since 1982, they have witnessed shuttle launches more than 50 times.
[...] it was below freezing that morning. Since Mary Ann has the place filled with summer plants that can't take the cold, Mr. Good Husband decided to wait until he was seated in the cab and then push the visor-mounted "up" button.
"When I was working on my Ph.D. at Northwestern, we had the longest collegiate losing record ever," he recalled. [...] you can see why he has a soft spot in his heart for the underdogs. According to the latest statistics from the NCAA, UT's graduation rate was 52 percent.
Seidemann was writing from his office in Santiago, Chile, thanking Pryse and 33 other members of the international council for their "optimism, good wishes, prayers and encouragement" during the mine-rescue saga that gripped the world this summer and fall. Seidemann's letter cites a spirit of international cooperation and cohesiveness that emerged from the crisis, during which 33 miners were rescued after being trapped underground for 70 days.
There used to be one on virtually every street corner, in every parking lot. Besides housing telephone users, they provided (1) merriment for college students vying to see how many bodies could be crammed inside and (2) a place for Clark Kent to change into his Superman outfit.
For better or for worse, physical punishment is no longer an option in the public education system. Harking back to Papa Fred's famous faux heart attack line from TV's "Sanford & Son," this guy's "You're fired" was on par with "It's the big one!" In fact, I never gave it a moment's thought until a colleague once suggested challenging him on it.
[...] stern warnings -- "Drive-offs will be prosecuted," complete with the obligatory (1) photo of a frowning law enforcement officer and (2) defamatory images scribbled across his face. Doesn't matter if it's a high-profile athlete behaving badly, a politician caught with a hand in the till or an arm around the wrong person, a movie star suffering foot-in-mouth disease or a corporation making stupid decisions costing human lives and billions of dollars.
How those men withstood 69 days underground -- the first 17 with no contact from above, for heaven's sake! -- not to mention being hoisted through 2,041 feet of rock in that tiny rescue capsule, is a testament to faith, grit and psychological courage beyond comprehension.
Rather, these downhearted and disconsolate are the makers of yard signs, banners, billboards and videos, as well as strategists, consultants and managers -- all of whom must find honest work for the immediate future. While we're on the subject of e-mail, Gretchen Whitney wrote to complain about candidates for president of the University of Tennessee, all of whom liberally peppered their public comments with 'um' and 'uh' and 'ah.
A flu shot's the cheapest medical insurance policy money can buy. " "To cure chicken pox, go to the chicken house after the sun goes down and let a black hen fly over you.
In other matters: -- In its latest effort to curtail smoking, the Food and Drug Administration wants to use graphic pictures on cigarette packs. (Speaking of shocks, did you hear Lane Kiffin has quit UT and is headed to Southern Cal?) Sam Venable's column appears on Sundays, Tuesdays, Thursdays and Fridays.
Please repeat after me: 'Abraham Lincoln wears (not wore) a stovepipe hat, black frock coat, black suit and black boots. When he sits down with a carpenter's saw, bends it into an S-shape and begins stroking the smooth rear edge with a cello bow, what emerges is a haunting tune that vibrates deeply into the core of your ear, if not your soul itself.
[...] her words turned serious, describing the destruction wrought to her native state, and much of Southern Appalachia, by a coal mining practice known as mountaintop removal.
According to the story told to me by a tour guide when I visited London in 2003, Nelson's body was preserved in a barrel of rum during the journey home for a proper burial.
[...] it was on this person's watch at the News Sentinel that I perfected my skills at "field research." [...] the guy has a splendid story to tell. [...] the name of a legitimate doctor, hospital, birth records and announcement uniformity, and an actual address, should leave little doubt that our president is legitimately holding office.
"Arginine boosts nitric acid, which relaxes blood vessels, the same basic effect that Viagra has to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe even prevent it," Patil said. [...] there was silence.
Was it: (a) Songfests between a great-horned owl on the west ridge and a screech owl on the north ridge? (b) Coyotes somewhere down the valley trying their best to duplicate the scene from a John Wayne western? (c) Quiet murmuring from a chorus of crickets? (d) Cascades of acorns pinging and plunking, tinging and thunking through the foliage, landing like drumbeats on my lawn and the forest floor? The cricket option could be considered a trick because the event I'm talking about occurred shortly before nighttime temperatures plummeted.
[...] the coach allotted time after practice one afternoon to detailed lessons on how to suds-up a washcloth and then deploy this equipment to correctly scrub-a-dub-dub. Because they haven't been practicing proper shower discipline.
[...] it has nothing to do with his new job as head football coach at the University of Tennessee. For years as they were growing up, both our children (who share my opinion about the putrid things) always gave their mother beets, in some form, for birthdays and Christmas.
[...] is the sad situation Gus Manning will face Thursday afternoon when he enters a recording studio at WIVK-FM to tape the 2010 college football season's first episode of The Locker Room. [...] it does vary from the typical UT game day fare by concentrating on the opponent, as viewed by that school's sports information staff.
Upon reading this story, my first reaction was to recall the time at the Museum of Appalachia when a visitor demanded I stick out my hand so he could give me -- his direct quote -- "a stool sample." Since Mark Hicks used a bar stool, that's where I started looking.
The assembled hundreds may not have been part of the official program, but all shared similar feelings about their coach, teacher and mentor who led the South Knox County school to 153 victories from 1956 until it closed two decades later. [...] throughout Venable's varsity career at Young, he made only one catch of significance.
Depending on which source is cited -- and this includes everything from the play by Mrs. Millicuddy's fourth-grade class to the encyclopedia to approximately 10 bazillion websites -- turkey may, or may not, have been on the menu for Thanksgiving Uno. Furthermore, if you have followed my drivel for the past four decades, you surely know I shop for many of my vittles at Mother Nature's original supermarket.
[...] News Sentinel reporter Matt Lakin just wrapped up a blockbuster series about the costly and devastating impact this illegal drug is having on East Tennessee. Children find swollen bottles, still half-full of meth-making chemicals, at the edge of parks, school property, playgrounds or front yards.'
In these flights of fancy, I perpetuate the illusion of your average football player as an unwashed, unschooled, unsophisticated oaf who couldn't spell "cat" if you spotted him the "c" and the "t." I'm qualified to do so because I are one of these people myownself, having damaged my brain through repeated collisions with other players in high school, not realizing the error of my ways until I reached college and learned to damage these same cells in a less-violent practice involving aluminum cans purchased in sets of six.
Author Venable, Sam
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Copyright To see more of The Knoxville News Sentinel or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to http://www.knoxnews.com. Copyright (c) 2010, The Knoxville News Sentinel, Tenn. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. For reprints, email tmsreprints@permissionsgroup.com, call 800-374-7985 or 847-635-6550, send a fax to 847-635-6968, or write to The Permissions Group Inc., 1247 Milwaukee Ave., Suite 303, Glenview, IL 60025, USA.
To see more of The Knoxville News-Sentinel or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to http://www.knoxnews.com. Copyright (c) 2010, The Knoxville News-Sentinel, Tenn. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. For more information about the content services offered by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services (MCT), visit www.mctinfoservices.com, e-mail services@mctinfoservices.com, or call 866-280-5210 (outside the United States, call +1 312-222-4544).
To see more of The Knoxville News-Sentinel or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to http://www.knoxnews.com. Copyright (c) 2010, The Knoxville News-Sentinel, Tenn. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. For more information about the content services offered by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services (MCT), visit www.mctinfoservices.com.
Copyright_xml – notice: To see more of The Knoxville News Sentinel or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to http://www.knoxnews.com. Copyright (c) 2010, The Knoxville News Sentinel, Tenn. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. For reprints, email tmsreprints@permissionsgroup.com, call 800-374-7985 or 847-635-6550, send a fax to 847-635-6968, or write to The Permissions Group Inc., 1247 Milwaukee Ave., Suite 303, Glenview, IL 60025, USA.
– notice: To see more of The Knoxville News-Sentinel or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to http://www.knoxnews.com. Copyright (c) 2010, The Knoxville News-Sentinel, Tenn. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. For more information about the content services offered by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services (MCT), visit www.mctinfoservices.com, e-mail services@mctinfoservices.com, or call 866-280-5210 (outside the United States, call +1 312-222-4544).
– notice: To see more of The Knoxville News-Sentinel or to subscribe to the newspaper, go to http://www.knoxnews.com. Copyright (c) 2010, The Knoxville News-Sentinel, Tenn. Distributed by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services. For more information about the content services offered by McClatchy-Tribune Information Services (MCT), visit www.mctinfoservices.com.
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Snippet Plants need nitrogen to grow. [...] nitrogen from the air is broken down into an easier-to-digest form by 'nitrogen-fixing' plants and bacteria that work with...
[...] it was on this person's watch at the News Sentinel that I perfected my skills at "field research." [...] the guy has a splendid story to tell. [...] the...
Mar. 21--My wife still remembers the time, during her fourth-grade year at Anderson Elementary School, when she quizzed the teacher about a new word she'd...
According to auctioneer James D. Julia Inc., Fairfield, Maine, the buyer declined to be identified. --
Ford Motors, Mother's Day and the Boy Scouts enjoy more of an international following than the pesky problem of putrid water in the Pigeon. At every step along...
[...] stern warnings -- "Drive-offs will be prosecuted," complete with the obligatory (1) photo of a frowning law enforcement officer and (2) defamatory images...
July 22--All you ladies are going to be soooo jealous when you hear what Charles Pless bought his wife for their 50th wedding anniversary. First some...
To wit: -- Contrary to popular opinion, Elkmont was not named for elk herds abundant in settler time, but because it was established as a vacation community by...
In the short tape, Sherrod, who is black, admits she didn't give "the full force of what I could do" 24 years ago to help a white farmer facing financial ruin....
According to a recent article in Field & Stream magazine, Scent-Lok's sales in 2006 were $100 million. From size 24 dry flies to 12-inch plastic worms,...
According to the health experts, 33.8 percent of Mississippians are obese. According to reports by CBS News, The Associated Press and other media outlets, the...
"Arginine boosts nitric acid, which relaxes blood vessels, the same basic effect that Viagra has to treat erectile dysfunction and maybe even prevent it,"...
"If the fisherMEN need to 'make water,' as the old Southern figure of speech goes, enjoy the sweet relief, but take the bottle home or dump its contents over...
[...] is the sad situation Gus Manning will face Thursday afternoon when he enters a recording studio at WIVK-FM to tape the 2010 college football season's...
[...] perhaps it's time to call upon a higher power -- with no offense (or defense, as the gridiron case may be) to first-year head coach Derek Dooley.
The conference sponsors knew I had deep-sixed my pickup truck in an ocean of liquid cow manure back in January, and they wanted to hear the intimate details....
"When I was working on my Ph.D. at Northwestern, we had the longest collegiate losing record ever," he recalled. [...] you can see why he has a soft spot in...
In these flights of fancy, I perpetuate the illusion of your average football player as an unwashed, unschooled, unsophisticated oaf who couldn't spell "cat"...
To refresh your memory - Rhoades had just backed his 18-wheeler into the loading dock of an auto parts factory in Kankakee, Ill. Covered in blood, sweat,...
[...] when the waitress brought his meal, complete with bib and the necessary tools for cracking the shell, he was a bit perplexed about protocol. "[...] I...
[...] it has nothing to do with his new job as head football coach at the University of Tennessee. For years as they were growing up, both our children (who...
According to biological surveys, the annual turnover in U.S. mourning dove populations runs 65-85 percent, whether the birds are hunted or not. Throw in guns,...
On Aug. 3, 1978, he decreed the Sunday after Labor Day as Grandparents Day "to honor grandparents, to give grandparents an opportunity to show love for their...
Having spent more than half a century calmly probing the innards of fish, feathers and fur and reducing the residue to table fare, suffice to say I know a...
[...] the coach allotted time after practice one afternoon to detailed lessons on how to suds-up a washcloth and then deploy this equipment to correctly...
[...] News Sentinel reporter Matt Lakin just wrapped up a blockbuster series about the costly and devastating impact this illegal drug is having on East...
[...] I suspect it will gain renewed energy as the bridge receives increased media attention in the coming months. [...] my advice to Chapman Highway drivers...
According to the Atlanta Journal-Constitution, Deal is $2.3 million in hock because of a failed retail venture by his daughter and son-in-law. Skinner refused....
"What's the best kind of zucchini to use if you have to whack a black bear in the head?" I asked as soon as Jerry came on the line. [...] I certainly hope I...
There used to be one on virtually every street corner, in every parking lot. Besides housing telephone users, they provided (1) merriment for college students...
The assembled hundreds may not have been part of the official program, but all shared similar feelings about their coach, teacher and mentor who led the South...
Allegedly, they're safer than the conventional method of sucking tar, nicotine, carbon monoxide, eye of newt and heaven-only-knows what other evil cooties deep...
According to the story told to me by a tour guide when I visited London in 2003, Nelson's body was preserved in a barrel of rum during the journey home for a...
Please repeat after me: 'Abraham Lincoln wears (not wore) a stovepipe hat, black frock coat, black suit and black boots. When he sits down with a carpenter's...
Right now, thee, me and 99.8 percent of East Tennesseans are delirious with excitement over the recent cold snap, signaling the sure-nuff switch from summer to...
Was it: (a) Songfests between a great-horned owl on the west ridge and a screech owl on the north ridge? (b) Coyotes somewhere down the valley trying their...
A resolution was hastily approved asking Andrea to research the questions "Do windbreakers really break wind?" and "Why is 'bra' singular and 'panties'...
[...] one glance at his clothing is enough to spark gales of laughter -- especially from the staffs at discount stores, second-hand boutiques, lost-and-found...
[...] her words turned serious, describing the destruction wrought to her native state, and much of Southern Appalachia, by a coal mining practice known as...
Among a myriad of projects, they built six handicap ramps on private residences, roofed another and repaired-renovated a public recreation field. In the...
How those men withstood 69 days underground -- the first 17 with no contact from above, for heaven's sake! -- not to mention being hoisted through 2,041 feet...
[...] he might cotton to the notion just fine. [...] the same will hold true for North American adventurers adding Europe to their plans.
Oct. 21--My foreign language learning curve continues to arc. When Clay was a tyke, I was surprised to learn the "Darkland Reindeers" was a professional...
Thanks to today's divisive political climate, not to mention pricey masks, the blood-curdling candy monger at your front door might be disguised as Rush...
How can an object be both an eyesore and an icon? I'll double-dog guarantee if the coffee company, or any other local business, proposed a new illuminated sign...
A flu shot's the cheapest medical insurance policy money can buy. " "To cure chicken pox, go to the chicken house after the sun goes down and let a black hen...
[...] you gotta tell me about your unusual nickname. Are you kidding? (He holds up a book thicker than the Yellow Pages.) Check out a few of these: n Devil...
[...] I do wish His Jockness would stick to X's and O's, and refrain from American history, when attempting to analyze the tough schedule faced by his players....
Oct. 31--The second phase of Tennessee's "primitive weapons" deer season opens Saturday. At one time, the federal government had contracts with 30 companies to...
[...] I opted for my electric fish-filleting knife instead of conventional kitchen fare. [...] a Power-T pumpkin won the "UT-Themed" category.
Political rancor has grown so intense these days, a verified list of, say, 750 attendees at any event can be ballooned to 750,000 or shriveled to 75, depending...
Rather, these downhearted and disconsolate are the makers of yard signs, banners, billboards and videos, as well as strategists, consultants and managers --...
Morton, a Knoxville attorney, and his wife, Missy, are by their own admission "space shuttle launch freaks." Since 1982, they have witnessed shuttle launches...
Seidemann was writing from his office in Santiago, Chile, thanking Pryse and 33 other members of the international council for their "optimism, good wishes,...
According to sanitary engineers and energy experts, generating power by incinerating dried human doo is quite feasible, just the same as it is from cow, sheep...
In the Navy! n As a member of the Loudon County Veterans Honor Guard, 85-year-old Ed Baranyi has helped chronicle the memories of many comrades and comfort the...
In other matters: -- In its latest effort to curtail smoking, the Food and Drug Administration wants to use graphic pictures on cigarette packs. (Speaking of...
After checking soil samples along roadways, picnic areas and parking areas near trail heads, they believe these jumping worms have already made serious...
Nov. 16--Here we are on the cusp of the holidays, and you're wondering how to navigate the next six or seven caloric weeks without gaining so much weight that...
According to the website southeasternoutdoors.com, at least 232 wildlife officers have died or been killed in the line of duty. According to police reports, he...
Upon reading this story, my first reaction was to recall the time at the Museum of Appalachia when a visitor demanded I stick out my hand so he could give me...
Depending on which source is cited -- and this includes everything from the play by Mrs. Millicuddy's fourth-grade class to the encyclopedia to approximately...
[...] the theme of her report remains the same, and I can't think of a better time than Thanksgiving Day to share it with you. From the standpoint of religion,...
West, convicted of a brutal double murder in 1986, had his execution postponed while medical and legal authorities wrangle over the effectiveness of the first...
In her post, Palin asked Muslims to "refudiate" the notion that an Islamic center should be built near Ground Zero in New York City. Surely it was a homegrown...
[...] -- and here's where the cheese really starts to bind, if I may mix metaphors with Marlboros -- making folks stuff their shirt pockets, purses, billfolds,...
Though this isn't a full-blown intelligence breach, we're talking behind-the-scenes negotiations and fact-gathering on the highest level of international...
Dec. 03--Roy Piciacchia is certain this is the way his father was greeted by Saint Peter at the Pearly Gates: How do you pronounce 'F-a-u-s-t-i-n-o...
For better or for worse, physical punishment is no longer an option in the public education system. Harking back to Papa Fred's famous faux heart attack line...
In any case, his capture really captured my interest. [...] last weekend, I had never heard of Mr. George. According to it, he is a Georgia resident. Law...
(284 pages, paperback, by Jay Searcy; $22 mail order from the author, 103 Quapaw Circle, Loudon, Tenn., 37774, or at outlets including the American Museum of...
[...] it was below freezing that morning. Since Mary Ann has the place filled with summer plants that can't take the cold, Mr. Good Husband decided to wait...
Dec. 14--A HOLIDAY SAMPLER (First in a series of four.) With all due respect to the Knoxville Nativity Pageant, the Clarence Brown Theatre's production of 'A...
[...] I digress. Ann's father took the Jeremiah passage literally. [...] there was no Christmas tree the entire time she was a child.
Dec. 17--A HOLIDAY SAMPLER (Third in a series of four.) Somewhere in the dark recesses of a file cabinet at my home office -- note to self: I will organize...
From auto magnate Henry Ford's 1920s rant that "the whole record of the Jewish opposition to Christmas ... shows the venom and directness of their attack" to...
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Air pollution
Animal attacks
Anniversaries
Apologies
Assassinations & assassination attempts
Astronauts
Athletes
Athletic directors
Autumn
Awards & honors
Bank robberies
Batteries
Bears
Birds
Birth control
Bridges
Capital punishment
Cholesterol
Christianity
Christmas
Circulatory system
Cities
Coaches & managers
Coffee
College football
College sports
Colleges & universities
Committees
Cooking
Dairy farms
Deer
Dentists
Diplomacy
Diplomatic & consular services
Dooley, Derek
Elections
Electricity
Energy
Energy policy
Entomology
Environmental protection
Firearms
Fishing tackle
Food
Food service
Football
Foreign language learning
Fraternities & sororities
Funerals
Gardens & gardening
Gasoline
Graduation rate
Graduations & commencements
Grandparents
Greeting cards
Halloween
High school football
Holiday decorations
Holidays & special occasions
Hotels & motels
Hunting
Illegal drug operations
Influenza
Insects
International relations
Lawns
Leaves
Lincoln, Abraham (1809-65)
Manning, Peyton
Manures
Methamphetamine
Moon
Moore, Tom
Multinational space ventures
Museum exhibits
Museums
National parks
Nitric oxide
Nitrogen
Older people
Orchestras
Outdoors
Owls
Pesticides
Pharmaceutical industry
Physical fitness
Presidents
Primaries & caucuses
Professional football
Pulp & paper mills
Restaurants
Robbery
Rocket launches
Safe deposit boxes
Scandals
Self defense
Sexual disorders
Site planning
Smell
Smoking
Space shuttle
State elections
Stewart, Jon
Street signs
Stroke
Students
Studies
Thanksgiving
Trails
Trees
Truth in advertising
Video equipment
VOCs
Volatile organic compounds
Water quality
Weapons
Worms
Title The Knoxville News Sentinel, Tenn., Sam Venable column
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